Fireworks in July
by Serymn
Summary: Of all things, it started with that shitty porn DVD his friend left him as a prank last Christmas. Then everything went downhill from there.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Here's another Tomoki/Tomoko story. I'm just trying to write down and finish all the remaining ideas I have for this manga. I wrote another silly M-rated, incest fic (Insomnia), so check it out if you're into that. Tomoki is in 2nd year here, Tomoko on 3rd. Enjoy, reviews welcome!

#

Tomoki's tired of Tomoko lately. A trash can would make a better sister. Tomoko always trying to say that he's a pervert, that he's nothing but a dick, and especially irritating is how Tomoko always accuses him that he's (god forbid) attracted to her. He doesn't say anything, he gets annoyed, but if he gives in and shows how he's pissed off, she will think that she's _won_. So he only glares at her and keeps his mouth shut, hoping that maybe Tomoko will get tired of teasing and just quit it.

It all started with a trashy DVD his friend gave him last Christmas as a gift. Horror of horrors, Tomoko saw 'My Sister in black tights' in his DVD player without his knowledge that it was there. Suzuki, the expert in the vast creativity in the Japanese porn industry, was known to give all his friends porn DVDs as pranks. He's also the one who teases him about his older sister, he's the only one who knows that Tomoko was in the same school.

"Tomoki, I see all these chicks who wet their panties when you're around, but why can't you see them? Can't understand if you're gay for me or if you just really have a hidden desire for Tomoko nee-chan," Suzuki said, while they were changing to their football uniforms in the boys' locker room.

He almost punched him on the nose. He's ashamed of Tomoko. But if he did punch his friend, then he wouldn't stop the teasing.

There's no way around it. He had to do something to stop it.

#

After another practice game where instead of focusing on the game, shit from Tomoko's mouth keeps replaying back in his head and how he wants to get even and just punch her in the face to stop it once and for all. But if he does that he would also get a harsh scolding from his mother or father. If he did something drastic and violent, it might make her stop talking to him for awhile. That worked before.

In the game, he runs, kicks the ball, kicks the boys on the rival team, and they lost the first elimination round for the national high school tournament because of his missed kick that didn't hit goal.

"Tomoki, there's something we're noticing. You're getting a bit violent," his coach said after their recent practice.

He shrugged.

"That school's team was complaining. You broke number 12's ankle, and another boy's mouth had to be stitched because you kicked him! Four guys complained about you for hitting them. And your performance during practice lately... I mean, you're not that way before. Do you need a break?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

"Sorry, Tomoki. You can still join practice but for the next tournament? I'll tell you the truth: do something about your performance. The first-years are better than you. I'll give them a chance to play this time. You keep on forgetting fouls, and the rules! Give it a rest. If you can prove yourself, then you can join the official games again."

Tomoki couldn't answer, but it was true. He sucked on the field lately.

"Yes, sir," he said, and left, feeling useless in his football uniform.

Football, his only past time, his only distraction. Who was to blame, himself, or his sister? His pent-up, unreleased anger towards her? Now that he was out of the team, what would he do with his free time? He still belonged to the club, but out of the game.

#

Boys' gossip in the locker room. Of course, friends would always talk about the friend who was not there, which was Tomoki.

"Too bad for Tomoki. Well I guess he needs a break," one boy said.

"Maybe he's so distracted because he has a girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? That guy? He's more interested in soccer than girls. I mean, girls are crazy over him but he just doesn't care!"

"Ever notice that girl who pops up all the time in his classroom, who he actually talks to? The short girl from third-year?"

"Uh. Yeah I do remember. So he's into older women after all…"

Suzuki was choking on his sports drink trying to suppress his laughter. He was about to join in and clarify that the girl they were talking about was Tomoki's _sister_. He even laughed more to himself when he remembered his prank to Tomoki last Christmas - giving him a porn DVD with the title 'My Sister in Black Tights'. Tomoki was pissed at him that time because his sister happened to see it. Suzuki just laughed so much at that time that Tomoki didn't speak to him for a week.

"Hey, guys, that girl's his sister!" he said, but found that they have already gone ahead of him and he was speaking to no one. _Oh no_ , this could be fun, if they still had that assumption in their head. No way Tomoki would admit to his other friends that he had a sister here, he seemed to dislike her.

#

Tomoki was in a sad funk the way home. He wished that he had punched or hurt Tomoko when he had the chance. He should have thought of another way to ignore her. He wished he could use the anger to practice more, but the anger only made him inaccurate in the field - it wouldn't work.

He imagined confronting her. But then it would sound weird.

 _Nee-chan. I just want you to know that its your fault I'm ousted from the school's soccer team for now. I'm banned from playing in the official school team against other schools. Thank you very much._

She'll say, _What the hell do I have to do with it? Its your game, not mine._

He'll answer, _I keep thinking about shit you say and how much I'd like to kick your ass. So shut up and don't talk to me if you can't say anything nice._

What would she say? Maybe, _What? You keep thinking about me? Why, are you in love with me? Disgusting freak don't go near me._

Then how would he get back at her?

Maybe its no use, just a waste of energy, something he just shouldn't think about. She's so pathetic in her current condition anyway. Always doing or saying embarrassing things. He avoids her in school so much because he's so ashamed of being associated with her. Sometimes he wishes that she wasn't born at all.

#

When he went back to his room after going home from school, his books are disarranged, the bed sheets are crumpled, his drawers are open. If his sister had the gall of doing this to his room, at least she should be responsible fixing it again. He's got enough of this.

So he went to her room, slid the door open and it slammed and shook against the doorframe.

Tomoko was half-naked, about to put on a shirt, her uniform scattered on the floor. He glimpsed a full view of her topless before she covered herself quick. Tomoko faced him, looking scandalized and hysterical, but blushing.

"You only went in here because you knew I was changing! You freak, getting turned on by your sister!" she said.

"What the hell did you do to my room? Fix it or else," he said, fists shaking.

"Leave it! I was looking for a Math book for my assignment! Don't go near me, you were _planning_ something, right?"

"Then you should have asked me, not make a mess! You think I want to spy on you? Then why was your door open, huh? Were you just _waiting_ for me? You probably changed because you knew I was going in. Maybe you just changed when I arrived because you knew I'd confront you about my room. You're the one always saying that, so maybe you're the one thinking those things."

Tomoko froze and couldn't answer, and he was satisfied at the effect of his words on her. Serves her right.

A while later Tomoko got in his room while he was studying, and she heard her go in fixing the books in the shelves and the bed. Tomoki didn't look at her, didn't thank her.

#

He woke up with a headache and numbness in his limbs. He felt his forehead, it was too hot. There was class today but he was too sick to get up.

His mother opened the door and saw him still trying to sleep. She placed a hand on his face.

"Oh my. Sick again, Tomoki? I have to go somewhere. But your sister said she had no class too so I'll ask her to take care of you, okay?"

He only groaned in reply.

 _Not again_ , he thought, because Tomoko just liked to tease him even more when he's sick and can't move. He tries his best not to be sick for the only reason that he was annoyed with her so much, because their mother always tells her to take care of him.

If Tomoko was in the room, then he wasn't aware of it. He woke twice, in the afternoon and the middle of the night, and there was food and water for him on the bedside table. After he ate he just slept again.

He noticed, sometime during the night when he went out to pee, that Tomoko was sleeping on the floor beside his bed. The full moon illuminated her face, framed by her hair fanning over the white pillow. He didn't understand why she had that ugly hairstyle, bangs always covering one eye. She'll look better without it, and he could see her whole face clearly now, free of the annoying hair.

She was sleeping on her side, with her mouth slightly open. Tomoko was only pleasant when she was asleep. Something weird inside him said that she looked almost beautiful, and he almost wanted to punch himself when that thought appeared in his mind for no reason. He didn't look at her when he returned and just slept.

#

"Did I tell you that you can sleep here? Could it be that its you who wants something? Freak. Wants to do her little brother," was the first thing he said when he woke up.

He still felt sick, but good thing it was a Saturday. Tomoko got up without a word and returned with his breakfast in a tray. He smelled strong coffee.

"What, are you going to throw that in my face again?" he asked, but Tomoko just took the mattress on the floor and went back to her room.

#

"Aren't you excited by the idea of your sister alone here?" Tomoko teased again and Tomoki just ignored her. She was on the floor, playing on a gameboy. She just brought his lunch. He slept the whole morning again.

"Shut up."

Tomoko leaned over the bed, looking into his eyes.

"Oh? Your reactions speak otherwise," she said, and he almost wanted to spit on her but his throat was dry. She closed her eyes, angling her lips to his.

(She thought he would push her away, or maybe dodge. He thought that she would turn her face away and mock him. But he was too tired to move, then the next minute he felt her chapped lips against his and next thing he knows he's closing his eyes and sneering in digust and they are pseudo-kissing... like shy lovers in the corner of his room. Tomoko was so shocked by the contact that she wasn't able to move.)

It was a delayed reaction on his part. In his surprise, he punched her in the face, his left fist shot out of the blanket and hit her cheek.

He had hit her before, but it wasn't that strong enough to hurt. But now his eyes widened at seeing some blood on her teeth.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to hit you hard, but you shouldn't have surprised me."

Good. It worked. Tomoko just looked at him with wide eyes and holding her numb face.

"I guess you need to get some ice if you don't want it to bruise," he said, and Tomoko's joking mood was gone, there were tears on her eyes from the pain. She ran downstairs.

"What happened to you?!" said their mother. He could hear them.

"Tomoki punched me!" Tomoko said.

"Well, maybe you gave him a reason to punch you! I told you not to disturb him."

"I did," Tomoko said, sobbing.

Tomoki tried to go back to his sleep.

The 'kiss' was a one time thing, he thought. Like it will ever happen again.

 _...to be continued_


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Its really been too long, I was caught up with life. I'm not that interested in this fandom or pairing anymore, but I will finish this, it might last 5 chapters. So this chapter is, 'an introspection on pornography in society'.

#

"Your sister and all her porn," his mother said and sighed while she cleaned up Tomoko's room. Tomoki just happened to pass by the open door. He was still sick. Their mother was even straightening up her collection of those creepy abuse-dialogue CDs she wasted money on. He'd seen his sister drool all over that shit while listening. It made him cringe while thinking that his sister was such a loser who isn't ashamed that she's getting off on those things.

"Which makes me wonder, Tomoki, why you don't."

"Mom. I'm not interested," he said.

"It's okay, Tomoki-kun! Its normal for boys your age!" his mother teased.

"Shut up, Mom. I wasn't interested and will never be," he answered, and now it was his mother adding to his sister's useless teasing. Was it abnormal not to be interested? He's probably gotten hard or came while he was sleeping but he didn't think much about it. He doesn't understand why everybody's so obsessed over sex.

But porn was everywhere, this country practically made the market provided for the demand of masturbatory fantasies of the world's population. Just imagined it? His friend's disgusting porn collection was almost amazing. Tentacles, S&M, imagined rape and torture, and... incest. Tomoki was one of the few boys who didn't pay attention to any of it. A glance of tentacle porn and he already swore off porn. There was a limit to things and some thing were just too much.

He didn't know where the hell people get their fantasies. He wondered, what was so amazing about it when its exactly the same thing every time? It was rather boring. And sitting in a room watching it on phones or laptops in secret, with a bunch of quietly horny students wasn't his idea of a good time. They would say he wasn't _normal_ when people writhing together, combined sweat and other weird slimy excretions, disgusted him. The very idea of it repulsed his flesh.

Incest fantasies were pretty rampant, though, but what made it so appealing anyway? He was no stranger to Freudian ideas, Oedipus complexes, that sons want to screw their mothers, etc., because it was talked about in school.

After breakfast, his head was still aching with the cold. He couldn't read or play anything, he couldn't concentrate.

He switched on 'My Sister in Black Tights'. He told himself it was only out of curiosity and he'd break and throw the DVD afterwards. Oh. Porn with several episodes. This was more of a drama than the typical hours-long porn-without-plot. He pressed play. _More of curiosity only,_ he told himself.

It started with a normal school football scene, some guy kicking a ball right across the field. The game went on for a few minutes, and what porn production company would waste so much time on an accurate game? For a few minutes he forgot that he was watching porn, the game was pretty accurate.

So zoom in to the main protagonist. A star football player with cheering girls. His sister alone in her room, silently watching him. It didn't help that the two protagonists had a resemblance to him and his sister.

He turned the damn thing off.

But curiosity won out.

He just pressed forward so the scenes can replay fast, so he can get a gist of the story. They secretly fall in love. They have sex. Somehow the parents find out. Drama ensues.

#

"You really are watching that kind of shit, creep!" came Tomoko's voice. Tomoki dropped the remote on the floor, staring at her with wide eyes. Was she here all along without him knowing?

"You were concentrating too much on that shit you didn't even notice me go in," she said, crossing her arms over her shoulders and glaring at the paused picture.

"To tell you the truth, my friend gave it to me. It would be a waste."

"So you're watching it?"

"Because of the football, duh."

"What? You're the only person I know say that. Just what the hell is that about, anyway?"

"Forbidden love family drama," he said, and pressed play. In some other saner day, he wouldn't have done this, but maybe the sickness did funny things to his head that he let her watch with him.

On the screen, the first confrontation. The mother slaps the girl, then crying and violent dialogue drags on. The father beats the boy up.

They both cringed while watching. Was the porn DVD actually a torture film? Those punches, blood, and bruises looked awfully realistic.

...and they kept on watching, quiet and riveted at the drama. Both of them _just curious_ at how it will turn out.

Tomoki found himself not concentrating on the movie. Tomoko sat on the floor beside him, cross-legged, eating some corn chips. He got some from her and ate too, as they watched. As if they were just watching another silly movie together. He even forgot when was the last time he watched television with her, when they would watch cartoon for hours on end when they were children.

"That ending sort of sucks, right? What parents would allow that shit? Sick," Tomoki said as he pressed the open button and took the CD out. He cringed again when he saw that silly picture of an overly photoshopped girl who wasn't didn't even look like that in the video.

Tomoki didn't know how to react when Tomoko was quiet. Her face was pale.

"What are you... What are you going to do with that?"

"Throw it away, of course," he said, and broke the CD in one snap, breaking the girl in two.

He threw it on the trash can.

Tomoko went out.

What would he say? It was great? When he had an erection without even thinking? God forbid, did his sister notice it?

Great job, Tomoki said to himself. Now your sister is disgusted with you. It was her who made incest jokes all the time, but now that they just watched porn together... well, this was another level of awkward. It was _hellish_.

Because he kept on getting annoyed by his friend's prank. He'd have to think of a good revenge on Suzuki next time.

#

The cold went away. While walking out of the school alone, he felt an odd prickling on the back of his neck. The same feeling when he knew someone was watching, but they were trying to hide behind the walls of the building, but he can feel them peering. He was alone. Then some guys, four of them, in high school uniforms that he didn't know blocked his way on the narrow road.

"You have a beef with us, man," the tall guy between them said, looking at him with a challenging look.

"I don't know you. Please get out of the way," Tomoki said without looking at any of them.

"You don't remember us? What's with this bastard? After your careless beating in the football field? We have to get back at you, you and your arrogant face!"

Tomoki merely scratched his head. "Can you get over it?"

"No way!" one guy said, curling his fists and hit Tomoki in the jaw. Another one caught his back and held him in a vice grip as the others prepared their assaults. Someone else kicked his leg and someone punched his cheek again, it made him spit blood.

"STOP THAT!" a familiar voice screamed, and Tomoki was surprised to see his sister, glaring with so much violence and hatred in her eyes at the four boys who dared touch him. They dropped him, grumbled, and went their own way. Tomoki sat on the ground, and wiped the spit and blood from his cheeks.

Tomoko ran to him.

"Can you stand?"

"Yeah," he said and stood up. "I'll need some ice for my face."

"Who were those bastards?"

"Some people I've beat up in the field during football school competitions. Such petty children," he said.

Her intensity and seriousness as she shouted and fended off the other boys with a glare from her eyes scared even him. He haven't seen her that way, until then. It was the first time he felt Tomoko wasn't a useless older sister after all.

They walked home without saying a word. He took a cold bottle of blue Gatorade and pressed it on his cheek where he was hurt.

"Don't go home alone next time, Tomoki," Tomoko said with genuine care and worry.

"Those guys just need to get over it. Look, I'm not even in the school football team anymore until I improve my performance."

"What? You aren't in the team anymore? Why?"

"Long story."

#

 _to be continued_


	3. Chapter 3

When Tomoki arrived in his classroom with a noticeable black eye and a purple bruise on his cheek, the girls in class were worried.

"Tomoki! What happened to you?" some girl he forgot the name of asked, but he appreciated her concern. He replied with a smile.

"Guys from the other school tried to beat me up yesterday. Seems like they can't get over the fact that I've hurt them during football," he said.

"Great, you fought back?" a guy asked.

"Four against one. I was walking alone if not for my sister who fended them off," he said. Then he realized that was the first time he ever mentioned his sister in a casual conversation with his classmates.

"What? Maybe you shouldn't walk alone next time."

The girls whispered among themselves. "Tomoki has a sister?"

"Man, what happened to your face?" Suzuki asked him, not paying attention to their prior conversation, he was busy looking at porn on his phone. Tomoki caught a glimpse of it: a young man and woman kissing. Suzuki paused it to take a look at him. The couple in the video were about to undress each other.

"Remember the guys I beat up during football games in another school? Guess they were pissed off."

"Ah. The reason you were kicked out of the team? Well, is the coach planning to take you in again?"

Tomoki didn't answer. He heard the team was going well with a couple new guys who are the hot new players this season, and the coach hasn't contacted him in any way. Everyone in the classroom was in idle conversation as they waited for the teacher.

"Our teacher isn't here this morning!" someone shouted and the classroom erupted into cheers. They went back to their noise and used the spare hour to play and chat.

"Hey, did you hear that new song by this band I talked about?" Suzuki asked, handing one earphone to Tomoki so he can listen. He didn't like music much or Suzuki's tastes, but since there was nothing else to do or study for, he listened. After a while, he grew bored.

"Why don't we just watch porn?" Suzuki asked, he didn't answer, but he still kept the earphone placed in one ear and glanced at the screen. Suzuki changed the app to the paused video he saw earlier.

"Though this one's way to _vanilla_ ," Suzuki said.

"Vanilla? What, the ice cream flavor?" Tomoki asked, and Suzuki gave him a funny look and giggled.

"You're way to innocent! 'Vanilla' means soft porn… something quite toned down than the usual rough and wild tumbling about."

Tomoki sighed and was about to return his side of the earphone to Suzuki.

"Don't be such a killjoy. Its only four minutes long! Come on!" Suzuki teased him further.

"Why do you have those things in your phone, anyway? You could get suspended if you get caught, you know."

Suzuki rolled his eyes. "Okay, Mr. Rules-and-Regulations guy. You wanna watch or not?"

Tomoki really had no choice as the video started playing. Curiosity won out. He watched as the two lovers looked into each other's eyes, undressing and kissing one another, his mouth on her body and her mouth all over his, then the girl spreading her legs and the rest is left to your imagination. How can Suzuki watch this in school all the time and still look normal?

Tomoki felt heat on his cheeks. They were seated on the back row, and no one noticed. Maybe the group cloistered around some guy's laptop were watching some kind of similar thing, with their giggles and suppressed laughter. Green jokes all around.

"Ah, not my taste, I need something else, you know, heavier?"

"I'll report your ass to the principal," Tomoki joked.

"Hell, you watched, you closet pervert!"

"I don't go to school with illegal stuff on my phone. You're getting yourself in trouble, so erase that."

"Oh, Mr. Oh-So-Pure. Why, you watch porn in your house, in your room? So when you get turned on at least you're alone?" Suzuki said.

Tomoki remembered what he watched the other day with his sister.

Before he could think of a witty answer to Suzuki, the teacher arrived.

#

Come lunchtime, his mind still goes back to the short clip Suzuki made him watch. Suzuki ate his lunchbox as if nothing happened. Was it so normal here anyway? For these guys to just watch it without any reaction or some shame? In the back of his mind, the images replay – the imagined sensations from what his eyes can see. The heat of bodies against bodies, the careless, shameless movements, desire finally expressed then released.

His knees felt wobbly while he's sitting. He tries to focus on the lectures for the rest of the day.

#

That night, he dreams. He dreams of the video. He's the one kissing a girl, undressing her, caressing her skin, biting her neck. He dreams of his _own_ sister, with him in the same bed. He wakes sweating and hard. _No, you shouldn_ _'_ _t think this, stop thinking about it, of all things to think of, thinking of your sister is just plain wrong_.

Another part of him says, _just this once_ , _just tonight_. So he touches himself, explores his own body, delights at his own reactions. He was only familiar with it during football games, but this one was new… He'll have time to regret it later, but he imagined a girl resembling a prettier version of his sister, someone with green eyes, black hair, and pale skin. She's so small, he'll crush her with his weight, but she cries with pleasure instead.

 _This is wrong, this is wrong_ , but just this time it feels like nothing else in the world. He fell asleep right away, with no trouble like he used to.

#

It didn't help that the one who wakes him up is his sister. She stomps to his room like she owns it. She rummaged his CDs, looking for a game. He forgot that it was a weekend.

"Go away," he mumbled, but Tomoko merely pretended that she didn't hear him. He was still in a half-aroused, half-awake daze, and he was really intending to 'focus on himself' this morning. Instead, he watches Tomoko. She's small, her legs are thin, she's just bones and skin. Nothing in her arouses desire. That he had imagined someone resembling her in his dreams the night before… what made him think that?

He traces her skin with his eyes, looks close at her lips, her large eyes and dark eyebags…

Their eyes met. She realized he'd been staring in a weird way. She burrowed her eyebrows, shrugged, and just went out, slightly cringing.

Even if zero guys had any interest in her, that kind of look seemed like a wrong way for a brother to look at his sister. It made her uncomfortable.

#

 _to be continued_


	4. Chapter 4

Tomoki was not prepared for another awkward weekend.

He ate breakfast, tried to play video games in his room but got tired of that, and there were inevitable times where they pass by each other in the house – on the way to the fridge or the restroom, crossing paths in the hallways and the living room. Tomoko was avoiding him, trying to avert her eyes whenever he passes by. He knew that it was because of the way he looked at her that morning.

 _Her fault for messing in my room she isn_ _'_ _t welcome._

The more she avoids him, the more he notices small things about her that he never observed before.

She looks irritated every time she catches him looking – eyes slightly rolling and that small annoyed sigh.

On any normal Saturday, he would be outdoors, hanging out with friends or practicing football with the team. Now, he was no longer a part of it. He stopped himself from opening his computer, as he might unconsciously type the address of some illicit website his friend mentioned.

He didn't need any of those images now. He felt mild disgust at himself for letting himself go that morning, for letting sensation get ahead of reason.

 _Its normal._ Suzuki's voice in his head. _Don_ _'_ _t hate yourself for it. Everyone feels it anyway. Why go around suppressing it?_

It's not that he suppressed it. His attention was just on other things like studies and football games. He was just distracted because the game was gone.

Hours pass with nothing to show. Tomoko ate lunch earlier than him. Tomoko is sitting on the sofa, eating a bag of chips and a glass of soda in another hand. A cartoon was playing, Tomoko watched it. His eyes travelled to her space as he ate his own lunch on the dining table. Upon longer observation, Tomoko didn't look bad – she wasn't the prettiest in the village, but she ruined her own looks by the way she carried herself and the awkwardness showing in her posture. Her body, while thin, looked normal. But she slouched a lot, which made her look shorter, like a child among other girls.

Tomoko seemed to feel his stare. She turned off the TV and went up to her room, seething. Tomoki went back to eating, but he still felt that he hadn't looked at her enough just yet.

#

Something's weird going on with Tomoki lately. He seemed not to care about her before, but this is the first time that she noticed that there's something quite different in the way he's looking at her. The way he looked at her since this morning. It seemed scarier than the glares and silent treatment from before.

It all began when she accidentally saw him pop in some perverted DVD into his CD player, with incest as the theme at that. She's also heard from Komiyama that one of Tomoki's friends was some kind of porn collector who always plays pranks with others. Tomoki has said the DVD he was given was a prank from the same guy.

She'll just stay away from him when she can.

She lay down in bed.

 _Just avoid him._

Not a good idea when he just passed by her open door and gave her one of those dark looks again. She doesn't seem to know what to do or what to say. She stood up to close and lock the door and went back to bed.

She glanced at the explicit covers of the CDs she was listening to, and in most normal nights she'll kill time by listening to them. But this time they didn't make sense to her – she knew that it was based more on fantasy than in real relationships. Why did she waste so much time and money on those things? She slept instead.

#

Another week in school, and it's all the same thing all over again. It was lunchtime when she was walking to the school cafeteria to buy water because she forgot to bring her plastic bottle. She just walked, alone and content, not bothered by the noise and the giggles around. Then she glanced to the side and caught Tomoki staring at her in that weird way again. Her eyes met his. He was sitting on a table with his noisy friends. She was so surprised, her eyes widened and she looked down, but kept on walking. She bought what she needed and went back to her classroom.

Tomoki's stare still haunted her when she was supposed to listen to her classes. Come afternoon break, when she was about to enter the restroom, she passed by Tomoki again. She gave him a defiant glare. He looked away.

#

As they ate an uncomfortable dinner together, Tomoko was trying to eat quick so she can stay away from Tomoki. Tomoki watched Tomoko from his peripheral vision and recalled a memory. That one time he got sick and they accidentally 'kissed'.

"What's up with all that staring?" Tomoko blurted out, sounding as if she's suppressed the anger and annoyance for too long.

"Me? Staring at you?" Tomoki asked.

"Since this Saturday!"

"Since when was _looking_ a crime?"

"It makes me so uncomfortable!" Tomoko slammed the table with her hands and walked up to her room without a word. Tomoki still looked at her the whole time, at her knuckles turning white, her teeth bared as she seethed in anger.

 _Maybe I shouldn_ _'_ _t look too much. But I can_ _'_ _t help it._

#

Tomoki wished for sleep to come. But the more he tries to, the more it eludes him. All his thoughts go back to Tomoko. Her anger. He touched his palm to his lips, remembering a stolen, unintentional kiss.

There's really not been much going on in his life lately. He's not depressed, he isn't happy either. The sleepless nights always give him unwanted thoughts he didn't want to think about. On the outside, he was calm and cool. Inside, he was empty. Why people liked him was a mystery even to himself, he just didn't care enough to think about it.

He lived day after day in a cycle. Every day was exactly the same. His life had no meaning outside of football. Now the thing that occupied his mind and time was gone, only to make him realize how dreadfully boring life was.

He always felt like that. If he ever told that to Suzuki, the other guy would just say, "Man. You just need to get laid. Get out of your shell."

#

Tomoko could not sleep. Damn Tomoki and his creepy stares. Now even when at home where she's supposed to be relaxed, she just became more conscious of her movements and appearance. If the staring thing happened only once, maybe she'd have made an incest joke about it. But this was too much.

Deep inside her, she was intrigued by it. Was it just a temporary thing, a phase that boys had to go through? She was curious. What was it really like to be the object of stares and desire?

She must be such a loser if she wants that kind of attention from her brother.

Damn him anyway for making her think such thoughts. She wished sleep would come sooner because this train of thought about her brother would just run around and around her brain.

#

 _to be continued_


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Happy new year, everyone! This is the last chapter. So sorry since I was so busy with RL that it took me a very long time to finish it and I dislike leaving things hanging. I'm really not into this fandom anymore, but I do still have some fic ideas left. Upcoming is another incest one-shot (it will be posted soon), "Misery Begins at Home." Thanks for sticking around.

They usually don't go to school at the same time during weekdays, due to different schedules. Tomoki would prefer to go home alone anyway. This morning, Tomoki had no class for his first subject, so they ended up riding the same bus to school. Tomoko was trying hard not to look at him, and he's also trying hard not to look at her. This weekend's staring contest pretty much annoyed her. She might even think he feels something weird or inappropriate towards her.

They sat together, and it was unavoidable that their skins touched – Tomoki was looking out the window with music blaring on his earphones, and Tomoko was trying to catch a bit of sleep on her seat. Their arms touched between them. She's sleeping anyway, so he watched her again. With her eyes closed, she looked so much like him. It's as if he's just staring into a mirror.

On the next seat, he noticed two people wearing their school uniforms. The way they leaned on each other, Tomoki knew they were more than friends. His thoughts drifted to love and relationships and how almost everyone's obsessed with it. His sister was annoying enough, why add more entanglements into his life?

The girl's leaning against the guy, who had his arms around her. They're looking at each other's faces, as if trying to memorize the image. He looked away when they looked like they were about to kiss, and cringed inside when he could hear their kissing over the sound of his music.

Tomoko's lips were slightly open. Her breathing was deeper, which means she's asleep. The couple were still kissing, he can hear it.

The bus jolted to a stop. They were already in school. Tomoko jumped from her seat in surprise, suddenly awake. Only to see Tomoki's face so close to hers, staring at her. Tomoki only looked irritated, to ward off any comment from her that he'd been staring like a creep.

"Wake up," Tomoki said, and they went off the bus. The kissing couple still couldn't get their hands off each other. It irritated him, while Tomoko looked on at them with longing. They each went to their classrooms.

#

There's a practice game outside, football. Turns out he's not the star anymore. There's a new freshman football player capturing their hearts. Where Tomoki is all brooding and dark, this new heartthrob's all blonde and smirking, he looks good and he plays good and he knows it. He does miss the screeches and cheers, the feeling of the ball flying from his kick. He's an outsider. Suzuki's there, still a player. He's sitting behind everyone, with a can of cold coffee in his hand, watching the game.

He feels a weird tinge on his neck. He looks back. Tomoko's by the second-floor window, watching him watch the game from her empty classroom. There's something sad and forlorn about her expression. When their eyes met, she disappeared from his view.

Cheers exploded, people were jumping. Suzuki's team – his former team – won the practice game.

"Hey, man," Suzuki passed by, still sweating from the game but grinning. He handed him two cans of ice-cold coffee.

"You shouldn't have. I already drank one," he said, showing his empty can.

"It's okay. Give it to your sister."

"Thanks anyway."

"By the way, coach said that you can come back to the team now. Someone quit," Suzuki said. Tomoki's face lit up.

"Really? I'd be glad to go back."

"The other guys miss you."

"It's been awhile. I need a little more practice."

"Great! I'll tell coach."

#

Everyone was busy watching the next teams play. The classrooms and hallways were empty, and he made his way to his sister's classroom where she was hiding. She was leaning on her arm on the armchair's table, face lit by the screen of her phone where she was reading something. She didn't notice him.

He places the can of coffee on the table, she looks up and takes it. He sits beside her, it looked like she didn't mind. He opened a can for his second drink. He looked at her again. She didn't mind that, too.

#

Tomoko's mind was blank. She wished she were home. Tomoki stared, she let him. Soon the cold coffee was gone and all of a sudden, they're staring at each other's eyes for no ryhme or reason. Tomoki seemed to be taking in something, trying to tell her something. She couldn't read his eyes, but she stared back into them, trying to decipher his puzzle. The eyes are a weird thing when you closely observe it - the light, the thread-thin lines, the color that really was quite hazel but looked dark green in normal light.

In the silence, the light has changed, to the golden cast of sunset. Something like an imaginary gear in her heart shifted, and she couldn't get enough, it seemed that she still hasn't studied him enough.

"Let's go home," she finally said, and he nodded.

#

That was weird, he thought. That was real weird.

They took the train home. Unlike the bus this morning, they found themselves alone.

As the train flew without noise through the tracks, without thinking, Tomoki pressed his mouth to hers.

She blinked but didn't react. Tomoki bit her slightly, his mouth taking more initiative than hers. But she didn't react. He felt her lips trembling, her face getting warmer.

She was the first to let go. She was flushed red, and Tomoki noticed that his heart was hammering on his chest.

She didn't say anything, didn't react. Tomoki tried not to.

#

Outside, Tomoko was the picture of calm. Inside, confusion and wrongness battled its way into her mind and heart. How many times had she pictured her first kiss in unrealistic situations with imaginary people? Never had she imagined that Tomoki would try.

It would still be a long time before they arrive home. The sunset against the buildings was beautiful, its golden cast reflecting on the glass windows. She swallowed and closed her eyes.

She gripped Tomoki and kissed him back. They never let go until the train stopped.

Then it stopped, and then they abruptly let go before the doors opened.

#

There was silence, the next days.

Tomoko was doing nothing but lounge outside as the leaves fell. She was looking at the sky. He went to her, put his hand beneath her shirt, on the small of her back. His hands caressed the protruding bones of her spine through her skin. He felt her small shiver. He pressed his lips to the back of her neck. And bit. He saw that once on TV, how big cats bite the necks of their young to take them somewhere.

He tasted her skin. She didn't react. She only sighed.

Thunder didn't crash. The sky didn't fall. The wind continued its passing, and another rain of dry leaves fell. He was about to kiss her again, but she stopped him.

She held his arm tight, and without words he understood. She closed her eyes to sleep. He watched her for a while before going back inside.

#

What had happened in school, in the train, outside their house... seemed like a natural culmination of desires long hidden and suppressed. Was he in love? It didn't seem like it. From the confusion came a rare calmness. Where would they go from here?

It was night. Their mother still hasn't arrived.

He heard Tomoko's door closed and locked. But he also heard her turn the doorknob to unlock the door again. He rose from his own bed and entered her door. She's already sitting on her bed as if she expected him to arrive. The room was dark, but he can see her eyes. He held out his hand and she took it. They've gone so far not too.

Senses burned and new feelings he couldn't name passed inside him, in that liminal space they entered on her bed. Time seemed to stop, and in the end Tomoko whispered in the dark, "We can't do this anymore."

"What?"

"Let's just go back to the way things were before."

"But..."

They heard the gate open, but neither moved. It was unnatural, of course. They were siblings, and since that kiss in the train they seemed to be in another world, a false world where these rules and taboos didn't matter. But there was a kind of sadness that overcame him the time they first kissed - that it would end the way it began, like something rising out of the ocean's surface only to go back to the deeps, never to be seen again.

Tomoki squeezed her hand, and Tomoko returned the gesture. He heard his phone ring from the next room, and he glanced back at Tomoko for the final time for tonight. Suzuki has texted he can start playing football again tomorrow. Before he resigned his thoughts to oblivion, he cataloged in his mind every glance, every touch, every broken hope.

#

Days have passed since the last time she allowed him to touch her. During their train rides home, the sunset was golden on the windows, shining on their faces. She lets him hold her hand, but they never talk during the trips home, and their lips never touched again.

It was another night they were both alone in the house.

He watched by the window, Tomoko by herself in the garden downstairs. She squats with a firework in her hand, smiling while watching the sparks which illuminated her face. Then, it went off and her face went dark. She stayed still for a while longer, then went back inside.

He guessed it was all pointless, like burning fireworks in July.

#

The end


End file.
